婚俗少一点 幸福多一点

Marriage customs are less and happiness is more

“亲家一分钱彩礼没要，还主动说要婚事简办。原本我们老两口准备借钱也要给儿子娶媳妇，听他们这么说，可算松了口气。真不错！真不错！”反复说着“真不错”的朱锡芬，是安徽省合肥市包河区大圩镇慈云村村民。

"In-laws didn't want a penny bride price, and took the initiative to say that they wanted a simple marriage. Originally, our old couple were going to borrow money and marry their son's daughter-in-law. It was a relief to hear them say so. It's really good! It's really good!" Zhu Xifen, who repeatedly said "really good", is a villager in Ciyun Village, Daxu Town, Baohe District, Hefei City, Anhui Province.

大圩镇位于包河区东南，临着巢湖，圩田岗地多，十年九灾。直到近二三十年，大圩依托城郊位置，发展葡萄、草莓等特色种植，扶持农家乐等产业成长，一家人的日子才过得“稍微松快点”。听说儿子的女朋友是皖北人，老两口既高兴又犯愁。“都听说皖北彩礼高，房、车不算，还要拿几十万。”2017年大圩镇整村推进从大田地到大社区转变，朱锡芬一家从古朴乡村的老宅回迁到城市高楼，“房有了，但一次拿出这么多现金，除了借还真没别的法子。”

Dawei town is located in the southeast of the Baohe District, near the Chaohu Lake, polder field Gangland, nine disasters a decade. Until the last two or three decades, Daxu relying on the suburban location, the development of grapes, strawberries and other special planting, support the growth of industries such as farm caravans, the family's days were "slightly loose faster". I heard that my son's girlfriend is from northern Anhui, the old couple is both happy and worried. "I heard that the bride price in northern Anhui is high, house, car, but also take hundreds of thousands." In 2017, the whole village of Daxu town to promote the transformation from a large field to a large community, Zhu Xifen family from the quaint countryside of the old house back to the city high-rise, "the house has, but once out of so much cash, in addition to borrowing there is really no other way."

一筹莫展的时候，亲家主动开口。“皖北也提倡婚事简办，只要你们对我女儿好，彩礼没必要。两家离得远，我们只去几个至亲做代表，参加婚礼。一切都按你们的风俗来，简单点。”亲家的话让朱锡芬一下轻松了。去年“十一”期间，老两口和儿子跟至亲开几辆车，接回了新娘和参加婚礼的几位亲人，简单又隆重地办了酒席。

At a loss, the in-laws took the initiative to speak. "I don't think it's necessary for me to marry my daughter," he said. The two families are far apart, so we only go to a few close relatives to represent us at the wedding. Everything will be as you like, and simple. Zhu Xifen was relieved by the in-laws 'words. During the "National Day" last year, the old couple and their son drove several cars with their close relatives, picked up the bride and several relatives who attended the wedding, and held a simple and grand banquet.

几个月来，朱锡芬和媳妇亲如母女。“我们没有债务压力，孩子们也觉得美好生活要靠自己奋斗。”两家人的默契，成了小两口幸福生活的“引擎”。在大圩镇，朱锡芬家的故事不是个例。“我们嫁女儿，只看对方家庭和人品，只要人好，不怕过不上好日子。所谓的‘彩礼’也就是个意思，没人要‘天价彩礼’，给孩子增加负担。”走访中，正处在“城乡融合”中的大圩人，说着自己家的故事，也清晰地表达出对“彩礼”的看法。

For several months, Zhu Xifen and her daughter-in-law were as close as mother and daughter. "We do not have the pressure of debt, and the children feel that a good life depends on their own struggle." The tacit understanding of the two families became the "engine" of the young couple's happy life. In the town of Daxu, Zhu Xifen family story is not an exception. "We married daughters, only look at each other's families and character, as long as the people are good, not afraid to live a good life. The so-called 'bride price' is also a meaning, no one wants to 'sky high bride price', to the child to increase the burden." During the visit, the people of Daxu, who are in the midst of "urban-rural integration", told the story of their own families and clearly expressed their views on the "bride price".

作为民政部公布的第二批17家全国婚俗改革实验区之一，包河区通过创新婚育文化载体，加强青年婚恋观、家庭观教育引导，治理婚嫁陋习、天价彩礼等不良社会风气，助力婚姻家庭幸福稳定。2017年至今，近90%的大圩镇人回迁到附近的金葡萄社区。为加快“村民”到“居民”的角色转换，改变过去乡村在婚丧活动中大操大办的陈规陋习，社区筹备办进一步细化《社区居民公约》和《和美楼栋公约》，在民主协商的基础上建立红白事、广场舞等焦点、难点问题的专项自治公约；请乡贤创作大圩镇“文明乡俗三字经”，广泛传颂；请村民签署《婚丧嫁娶简办承诺书》；组织巾帼宣讲团、“五老”宣讲团等，结合当下热点，创作“三句半”、打油诗，以老百姓喜闻乐见的形式唱出去、读出来；开展“好人”评选。将婚俗改革的内容纳入其中，通过居民推荐，组织道德建设委员会开展走访、评议，隔一段时间再“回头看”，督促“好人不变味”。

As one of the second batch of 17 national experimental areas of marriage reform announced by the Ministry of Civil Affairs, Baohe District through innovative marriage culture carrier, strengthen the youth marriage concept, family concept education guidance, governance of bad social customs, such as bad bride price, to help the happiness and stability of the marriage family. 2017 to date, nearly 90% of the people of Dawei Town moved back to the nearby Golden Grape community. In order to speed up the role of "villagers" to "residents" to change the countryside in the past in the wedding and funeral activities of the stereotypes, community preparatory office to further refine the "Community Residents Convention" and "and beautiful building convention", based on democratic consultation to establish the red and white affairs The community preparatory office further refined the "community residents' convention" and "beautiful building convention", based on democratic consultation to establish red and white affairs, square dancing and other focal points, difficult issues of special self-governance conventions; invited the villagers to create the town of Daxu "three words of civilized countryside customs", widely disseminated; invited villagers to sign the "wedding and funeral simple commitment"; organization of women's preaching group, "five old" preaching group, combined with the current The "three and a half sentences" and limerick were created to be sung and read out in a popular form; the "good people" were selected. Include the content of the wedding custom reform, through the residents' recommendation, organize the moral construction committee to carry out visits, comments, and "look back" after a certain period of time, to supervise the "good people do not become tasteless".

作者：郝梦瑶 农民日报·中国农网记者 杨丹丹

Author: Hao Mengyao Peasant Daily·Reporter Yang Dandan of China Rural Network